My first STD was from a foam party
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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