Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
