Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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