I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
