I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize