"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
