You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
