Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
