Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize