like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize