and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
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It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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