It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Holy sore nipples Batman
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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