So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
