how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
How's work?
Spinning.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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