You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
