Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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