No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
