Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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