I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
