Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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