Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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