Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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