Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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