DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
