I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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