these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
