My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize