Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
