I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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