im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
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Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
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It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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