Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
People with herpes should wear stickers.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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