We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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