Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
