1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
