That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
