The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
