you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
