so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
