that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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