The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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