ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
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I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
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She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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