I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
