That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
