did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
