i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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