her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
