Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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