Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
