Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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