Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
