you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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