can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
