WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my sisters under your porch take her home
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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