Yo dont text me then not text me
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Randomize
