the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
